A journal entry from a few days ago:
December 8, 2012
I'm so blessed and I hate that I often forget it. I'm sitting here on my bed, door closed, Christmas lights in the windows and also strung along my headboard warming the otherwise dark room. There's a calmness about being in dim light. As Jars of Clay plays softly in my headphones, I sit in peace. Although things haven't been easy lately, I'm thankful for the here and now. I'm thankful for being where I am right this instance and the good feeling that overwhelms me. I made the decision this weekend to stay away from the internet and I can't even begin to express how freeing it's been. The constant bragging and timeline overload of beautiful photos actually started to get to me. It's inspiring for a while but begins to make me feel ashamed that I'm not as successful as all of these other people. It was sucking the joy out of me and I needed to separate myself from the source -- the internet. I spend so much time on the internet that life starts to pass by and before I know it, I haven't done much of anything. So I spent today reading (finishing a book, actually), hauling a Christmas tree inside, taking a few pictures, petting black labrador puppies, buying Christmas gifts, and laughing. What a blessing life is. I haven't spent much time in the past year doing anything particularly adventurous but I'm ready for that to change. If that means riding a cheap, dirty train to NYC and sleeping in an old, grungy hotel, then that's what I'm going to do. I'm tired of letting my life pass by when I could be getting my inspiration from walking the streets in New York, rather than from scrolling through the endless photographs on my news feed.
Who's with me?