Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Coming Home

It's so miserably hard trusting in God with my future. After praying for months and months about where I should attend college, I felt JMU was the place for me. I hoped at least. So, move-in day came along and I shoved all my worries at the Lord. Yes, shoved. I knew I couldn't deal with all the negative thoughts running through my head so I gave them to the Lord.

We pulled into the parking lot behind my dorm bright and early and as nervous as I was, I took a deep breath and just prayed it would be okay. Before I knew it, I was handed the key to my dorm room and all my stuff was moved in. It was a long, long day but I surprisingly felt good. I didn't miss home. The first week I was at JMU was orientation week and I can honestly say it was the best week of my life. Through games, laughter, meeting new people, and even sleepless nights, I realized what a blessing it all was. Everyone in my dorm was so genuine and happy and I loved it. I thought everything was going to be perfect.

Then the first day of classes rolled around. I was doing okay, convincing myself that new classes are always scary at first but nothing ever changed and I was so overwhelmed. Admitting this is hard because I know most people don't understand what school and learning have always been like for me. I've always struggled in classes, remembering facts, and relaying what I've read, so being in five classes with people who were at the top of their classes in high school, who thought the material I was struggling with was easy, was making me question if I was ready for such a huge school. Long story short, I came home. Yep, I came home. I've been ignoring and dodging everyone lately because I didn't want to share what was going on but I figured since I find everything easier when I write, this would be the best way. It's been a hard week and I do miss JMU but I think before I spend thousands of dollars on classes I might not even pass, I need and want to explore photography.

It may end up being something I never have a career in. I'm not going to put all my eggs into one basket, per se, but I'll feel content knowing I tried. So as I embark on my little journey this semester, your prayers would be appreciated. Thanks for reading, friends. Have a lovely day. :)

















12 comments:

  1. Lovely pictures as always Meredith!...excited to see what God has planned for you! :-)

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  2. Don't lose hope! Just have faith and God will take you where you need to be =)

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  3. I'm sure God has some amazing things in store for you! also, I'm totally in love with this picture. yay for fall colors! :)

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  4. I have so many friends here who took gap years and are better for it. Mere, you are not a failure in any way. God has a plan and has instilled your passion for photography for a reason. I love you!

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  5. what a fantastically brave decision - and how wonderful that you are chasing your dream. your photos are absolutely gorgeous, so I'm sure you have an amazing future! I'm following so I can read all about it!

    ps. thanks for your lovely comment, am glad to have found your gorgeous blog

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  6. lovely photos :)
    Interesting blog, I really enjoyed browsing it :)

    Blog: Oh it's Juno

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  7. Blog hopping around- really great photos!
    -Camille
    GGA

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  8. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog. You're a great photographer, love your work :)

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  9. These are gorgeous, Meredith. Just beautiful, wow. :) God has a plan for everyone, but sometimes it is hard to LET HIM take control of it. This post was such a blessing, girl. Keep it up! God won't fail you. {and those leaf pictures, I really swooned over. ;)} xx

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