Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Wonder

Sometimes I lay in bed at night during the hours it takes me to fall asleep and I think of things I wished I had changed during the day. Or rather, things I wished I had done differently. That's probably a really bad thing to consume my life thinking about, but I wouldn't say it always is. 

Most of the time I wonder what I would do if I had the chance to rewind parts of life or parts of my day. I wonder how sparingly I would use that so-called power if I had the chance three times in my life to do so. I wonder if I would use it at the appropriate times or if I would use up all three chances in the same day -- spur of the moment -- on things that were irrelevant.

It's funny to think how often we mess up. Obviously, I mess up every day and as I try to forgive myself for the things I've said and done that I regret, I struggle. It's not hard for me to accept that I screw up on an hourly or even minutely basis, but I don't have such an easy time letting it go and moving on. I'm always wishing I had done things differently or wondering if I made a mistake. And really, all of that comes down to insecurity -- being afraid of what people think. 

Today I will try harder to forgive myself and know that all things happen for a reason -- that all mistakes are learning experiences for my life so I can change and be the better me.


  1. Love what you said on the last part. :) Good things and bad things happen for a reason, either to benefit or challenge us in the faith.

  2. I needed this post. I do the same thing at night too.

  3. I think about that all the time, too! Seriously- I think there will always be something with which we will remain unsatisfied- but that's the point, no? To be better the next day, and the next day, and the next day... Just a thought.

    xoxo flor