Thursday, April 14, 2011

Realizations of Happiness

I always have bad days and someone usually manages to cheer me up and make me thankful for what I have before the day is over. You know, the person that tells you to stop pouting and be happy you're alive? 

A week or so ago, I went out to eat with my mom and dad after having a hard day and I kind of poured my heart out. I NEVER ever pour my heart out. EVER. I rarely even pour my heart out to friends. I'm very quiet and I don't trust many people. But at dinner I just told them of dreams that I have and things I wish I wasn't afraid to do. I felt one billion times better after that because as I explained to them that I'm an introvert and that I see that as a bad thing, my dad proceeds to tell me being an introvert isn't bad, it's merely you drawing your energy from yourself, rather than from other people. And I believe that's true in my case. I looked up the definition to the word introvert and the site made it seem like a bad thing. I looked up the definition to extrovert and the site made it seem like a good thing. Reasons why I always thought being an introvert was bad. Haha. But it's not. And I will no longer accept people telling me that being an introvert is a terrible thing. The world needs both. Without both, it wouldn't function.

So as I walked out into the refreshing rain, I smiled. I realized life's just too short not to pour out my heart and not to chase my dreams. Life's too short to miss having a conversation where you learn that being an introvert isn't bad. I can only hope that if there is a plan for anyone's life, it's mine. I have been praying since I was seven that God would do something amazing with my life. Maybe I work in a mailroom. Maybe I plant strawberry seeds and watch them grow. Maybe I counsel children that have been through tragedy. Maybe I work at a carnival. Maybe, just maybe, I get to be a fashion photographer and shoot album covers for music artists. I DON'T KNOW. Haha. But whatever direction I'm taken in, I want to be used -- used just as I am, flaws and introvertedness and all -- for something huge. 

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